Max's Music Mondays ft. Dora Jar and NEL
I even did a serious intro *nervous face emoji* please bear with me.
Sometimes these intros are me making jokes about how I am learning how to slam dunk (Lebron is my tutor, but he hasn’t shown up to our sessions in months/ever etc. etc.). Other times, they won’t be funny and I hope you still like them.
This week I’ve been running into the same idea over and over in all corners of my life. It’s a thought that’s stuck with me ever since reading this Akwaeke Emezi essay (Emezi is one of my favorite authors, someone who has truly changed how I think (cannot recommend Freshwater or The Death of Vivek Oji enough)). While I don’t exactly relate to their specific experience, I have yet to shake that idea of writing “into the unknown”. In an interview with Diva Magazine last week, Becca Mancari seemed to be pointing at the same - “I do think that there was an element where I was writing about forgiveness before I knew how to forgive”. So when the tarot genius herself, Jessica Dore, dropped this one on the TL it felt like they were all yelling it at me.
I get this feeling a lot when I write, I just kind of let my brain cook and then we get to the end and there’s a meal there. It can be frustrating because I never know what that meal is going to look like or taste like, it forces a practice of trust to just let that thing work. It feels like magic when things click, and keeps me doubting the work until that magic appears.
A few days ago I was doing a guided run (shoutout Nike Run Club, add me if you’re on there) and Andy Puddicombe from Headspace is going tf off about how we’ve got all we need, it’s more about clearing distractions. I found all these pieces slowly coming together. A feeling that growth is just as much about expanding out as it is about uncovering what was already there. It feels like a fitting thought to cling to as this year ends. This year. So, this has been my perspective as I take in the one, the only, Maggie Rogers’ Notes from the Archive. It feels special to get to see how someone has grown and appreciate what was there all along. I wonder what the world would be like if we could all share ourselves in this way. Not all of us have archives of music to publicly release, but I’ll be trying to find ways to draw those same lines back to who I was and who I am as we step into the new year (and if you have ideas, hmu!!).
None of this really has to do with MMM except one of those M’s is me (surprise), and my brain is the one spitting out all this junk so I thought I’d share :) It’s a comforting thought to explore and hope it feels the same for you. Anyways, next week is The Maxies, my made up award show and I cannot wait!! Some great awards and great music. But first, back to the basics, here are two really good songs I loved this week.
Multiply - Dora Jar.
I’m obsessed with this one. A riff and a half, held at just the right distance to have me begging for it to drop. That inhale the perfect bow on top, come on. I am head over heels for these vocals. So intimate and personal, that light fuzz offering such a gentleness. Dora Jar runs alongside the riff with ease, two tones that play so well together. “Got a feeling” pulls the melody/riff just a little bit, ever so slightly yet wildly fresh. As Dora Jar reaches for those high notes, the fuzz really comes through. Look at her run!!! 0:35 to 0:47 a masterclass in how to squeeze every last ounce from single breathe, a stunning moment, each note full of life. What a journey. Oh what I’d give to go to a party - Jar flirting with this crush, pushing their romance forward, letting themselves do it. “It’s been a long time / since I’ve been fun with anybody” a chilling 2020 line, but here, plays into this anticipation. The fun is within reach, and you can hear it as those vocals head towards the sky, the chorus of angelic ooo’s relentless in their support. OK LET’S ABSOLUTELY GO!!!! Punches of true rock and roll, each one landing harder than the last. It’s a surprise, the intense pay off of the romance we’ve watched unfold. That ghostly vocal darts side to side, like they manifested this, “I think about you 25 hours a day”, a passionate lust that makes this explosive moment feel even more earned. Plus these days, any chance to really go off like this is welcomed. So much pent up energy unable to be held back no matter how hard Dora Jar tried. I love songs like this, something that really plays with it’s structure, delivers something unexpected, and just feels so good. It’s almost jarring to hear the beginning of this song again now, knowing what it’s hiding just a minute or so in the distance. I think that confidence that comes through in the first verse’s “Got a feeling” declaration is what makes this song work. We had no idea where it was going, but Dora Jar did and boy oh boy did she take us there.
Fine By Me - NEL.
Let me tell you what, there’s this one song on soundcloud… (Which is getting it’s own write up soon) that has led me to so many MMM songs. And get this - Fine By Me? Yeah, it’s one of them. The soundcloud algorithm works in mysterious ways (to me, someone who doesn’t understand what algorithms are whatsoever), but whoever I owe for this one, just drop the venmo. I’m grateful for this gift. A sparse, cinematic, heartbreaker. The keys aggressive then gentle, almost like they are immediately regretful for their harsh entrance. NEL’s vocals live in that A.K. Paul world, held perfectly right in the center of the song, all these other beautiful touches expanding outward, rolling above and below. This first scene, the first 20 seconds, is so full of these touches, new synths popping in, unreal harmonies at 12 seconds, a trumpet fluttering by before the band ushers us on. I’ve had to start this song over so many times just to feel each one. Now with some drums, there’s a groove in the empty space. There’s a parallel universe where this is an early James Blake song too. “I don’t know a reason why” lingering on as instruments keep taking runs. The titular lyric rides these rolling waves of acceptance as NEL navigates through this heartbreak. The second verse empties out, coming off as lonely in the wake of that chorus. Some stellar little synth runs fill out the chorus this time around, as the tension in the vocals builds. Just like those keys up top, there’s an anger and pain quickly soothed by this “fine by me” acceptance. We never get that closure, never get any resolution, it’s NEL’s own journey. All we get is two beautiful minutes of music, and honestly can’t ask for much more than that. Today is the shortest day of the year and something about this song fits that winter darkness so well.
In case you missed it - HEY OH MMM GOT A SHOUTOUT IN ANOTHER NEWSLETTER. Please go check out Sarah Brooks’ The Sounds She Collected. It’s always a thoughtful exploration of life and music, I especially loved her recent Top 15 Lyrics off of folklore/evermore.
In case you missed it pt. 2 - As mentioned, there’s Maggie Rogers’ archive release. Dijon assembled the wildest cast of characters and orchestrates a hit. This Toro y Moi remix of HAIM is so spectacular. Of course, Caroline Polachek’s perfect Breathless cover makes the list. Jonah Mutono with a timeless rendition of O’ Christmas Tree, I couldn’t resist. And Amaarae just destroyed me with this haunting version of LEAVE ME ALONE for Colors. As always you can listen to them all here:
Merry almost Christmas and also Merry almost Maxies,
Max